A Chocobo Crisis
by MateriaGirl
Summary: Watch out! Clear the streets! Cloud's racing his own chocobo! It's gonna get deadly, folks! R&R!


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Author's Note: This idea came to me while watching my cousin roll back and fourth. Don't you dare ask me how chocobo and babies mix, 'cause I don't know either. Enjoy! ^_~

A Chocobo Crisis

A long time ago, preferably referred to as 'last week', there was a man of great taste. Of great taste in chocobo that is! He was, sort of what you called a chocobo dealer. He was a young man from Midgar who escaped from the traps and doomed hallways of Shinra, Inc. His name…Bill. As we now call, Choco Bill. 

Now Bill went to Kalm and on his way there, he got trampled by a travelling herd of chocobo…and so it begins…

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Yuffie laughed, "Cloud, you can't breed your own chocobo if your life depended on it!"

"Good thing it doesn't." Tifa grinned. Yuffie giggled.

"Hey!" Cloud began. "…Fine. Maybe breeding is a little bit out of the question. I think I'll ride him instead." He looked at his blue chocobo, named 'Da Bomb'.

"Da Bomb?" Yuffie gawked. "Wow, Cloud's a jerk and a comedian. I'm impressed." She smiled.

"Yeah, I mean, Cloud. Da Bomb couldn't win a race if his life depended on it!" Tifa giggled.

"Good thing it doesn't!" Yuffie replied. They both burst out in laughter.

"Laugh all you want, but I bet you guys anything, anything at all…that if I enter Da Bomb in the chocobo race tomorrow, he'll win." Cloud smirked.

Yuffie and Tifa looked at each other then at Cloud, and burst out in laughter.

"Cloud," Yuffie began. "Your chocobo is the slowest on the planet!"

"Don't you feed your chocobo greens? They help increase stamina and speed." Tifa stated.

"And intelligence." Yuffie added.

"I know." Tifa replied.

"No, seriously, intelligence." Yuffie chuckled. "If Da Bomb is Cloud's chocobo, he's gonna need intelligence and lots of it!" Yuffie and Tifa burst out in laughter again.

Cloud grumbled, "Okay, are you guys just afraid you'll lose or not? I bet both of you, that if I- I mean, if Da Bomb wins, you both owe me 10 thousand gil!"

"No, no, no." Tifa sighed. "We get to pick!…uh, let's see…if Da Bomb wins," She giggled. "Uh, yeah if he wins…I'll give you 20 thousand gil." She smiled. Then she smirked, "But if he loses…and I win the bet, I get to go on a date with you!"

"What!!…Fine." Cloud muttered.

"And, if Da Bomb…sort of wins…" Yuffie giggled. "Uh, I'll give back all the materia I stole from you!…But, if he loses, you owe me the materia I've been plotting to get for so long…Knights…of the Round."

"What?" Cloud gasped.

"Da Bomb's nothin' but a loser!" Yuffie chanted.

"Fine. Deal. Whatever." Cloud sighed. Tifa and Yuffie began to leave the room. Cloud looked up and glared at Yuffie as she left. "Wait a second!…What do you mean by…all the materia you stole from me?"

Yuffie sped out of the room.

Tifa stopped and laughed, "Ya know, Cloud…this is gonna be such a great event…and ya know what would make it even more better..."

"What?" Cloud asked.

"You…racing against…a gold chocobo, wouldn't that be wonderful?" Tifa grinned.

"I guess…" Cloud replied. "…Wait a second…the only one on this whole continent who has a gold chocobo is…y-you!" He gawked.

Tifa patted him on the shoulder, smirked and then grinned, "I know…" She began to leave the room. "See ya at the race tomorrow…loser…" She cackled as she shut the door.

"NOOOO!!!" Cloud hollered. "I've got to get help! I need my chocobo to be fast, and it has to be fast, fast! Who can help me?" He thought and thought. Then, it hit him! "Choco Bill!" He jumped out the window and began run to the Chocobo Farm. Seeing he was in Mideel, that was sort of difficult. So he took the Highwind.

Once he reached the Chocobo Farm, he ran inside the house to find Choco Bill. Instead. Choco Billy was sleeping in the room. That was no good. So he ran to the ranch. Choco Bill and Choco Billy were taking care of Da Bomb, Cloud's Chocobo and Sunshine, Tifa's Chocobo. And Cloud just needed a few tips.

"I have a list of demands!" Cloud began, angrily. "And I really need them answered…please?"

"Alright, sonny. What can I get for ya?" Bill asked. "I'm a busy man, taking care of all these chocobo."

"Well, I'm entering in tomorrow's chocobo race at the Gold Saucer, and my chocobo isn't really…the fastest on the planet…" Cloud sighed.

Just then, a little girl, named Chole, who was Choco Bill's granddaughter, and Choco Billy's sister, came up to them. She began, "You mean Da Bomb?"

"Yeah, that's him." Cloud replied.

"Ha! That chocobo is the slowest one on the planet! What kind of greens do you feed it? It's pathetic!" Chole laughed.

"Thanks a lot, you-"

"Okay Chole, that's enough insulting the dumb blond now." Choco Bill sighed, shooing his granddaughter away. "So what was it?"

"I need those kinds of greens that Tifa's feeding her chocobo." Cloud demanded. "I'll give you 3 thousand gil for each one."

"Hold on there." Choco Bill stated. "Tifa hasn't been feeding her chocobo no greens. It's a gold. So far, when she first bred it, she fed it one green, and that's been all."

"Well, what kind was it?" Cloud asked.

"A…Sylkis…no, I mean…a Reagan green." Choco Bill replied.

"I'll take it!" Cloud snapped.

"Too bad I don't sell it. A man, sort of purple coloured raccoon man, named The Chocobo Sage does." Choco Bill explained. "He lives in the Northern Continent."

"What?!" Cloud gawked. "Well, who cares where he lives. I'm going there before the race, so I can get my chocobo a little bit faster than Tifa's!"

"That's sort of impossible to get your pathetic chocobo faster than a gold-"

"Shut up." Cloud ran out of the ranch and back into the Highwind. He was on his way to the Northern Continent, to get to the Chocobo Sage's House as fast as possible.

Meanwhile, back at…wherever Yuffie and Tifa were, who are now in Gold Saucer, which is where they are now…

It was the day of the race, and Yuffie and Tifa were backstage getting ready for the race. 

Yuffie grinned, holding a bag of popcorn, "I hope Cloud's ready to accept he's a jerk!"

"Yeah, but,…where is he?" Tifa asked. "All the competitors should've been here."

"ALL COMPETITORS SHOULD BE HERE NOW." Rang a voice over the P.A. system.

"See?" Tifa replied.

"ALL COMPETITORS PLEASE REPORT TO THE FRONT TO BEGIN RACING IN 15 MINUTES." Continued the voice over the P.A. system.

"Just great!" Tifa snapped.

"Good luck, Tifa." Yuffie stated, munching popcorn. "I'll be out in the crowd, watching!"

"Well, it's no use racing without Cloud. I'm supposed to win against him!" Tifa sighed.

"Speaking of more crisis', where're your chocobo?" Yuffie asked.

Tifa grumbled, "Choco Bill's delivering them from his ranch…where is he?!"

"Right here, Tifa." Replied Choco Bill, tugging a gold and a blue chocobo with him. "Sunshine…and Da Bomb."

"Would you by any chance be delivering a…Cloud Strife?" Yuffie asked. "He's sort of missing from the competition."

"Oh, that young idiot came by my ranch the other…today, he came over today." Choco Bill explained. "He asked for some greens."

Tifa gasped, and smirked, "To make his chocobo faster?"

"Yes. He's going to look for some…reagan greens." Choco Bill sighed.

"Funny, those are the same greens I fed my chocobo when I first bred it…" Tifa muttered. "What did you tell him?"

"Something about a raccoon." Choco Bill said.

Tifa gasped, "The Chocobo Sage!"

"Is a raccoon!" Yuffie gasped. "We have to get him to medical care!"

"What?" Tifa gawked. "He was always a-…oh forget it! What are we gonna do? We can't make it there right now. The race starts in-"

"10 MINUTES TILL STARTING TIME!"

Tifa sighed, "See?"

Cloud already got the reagan greens and was on his way back from the raccoon's- I mean, the Chocobo Sage's house. He stopped on the outskirts of North Corel, holding the greens. "I'm late for the race!" Cloud muttered, running into the Ropeway Station. "One ticket tot he Gold Saucer, please. I'm late for a chocobo race!"

"Sure, you fool." The driver stated, pulling a trigger.

"Oh, and why am I a fool?" Cloud grunted.

"'Cause, the race starts in 5 minutes!" The driver sighed. "We're here."

"Thanks!" Cloud jumped off, and ran into the Chocobo Square. There he saw Tifa and Yuffie waiting there.

Tifa smirked, "Ready to lose?"

"You bet I am!-…I mean, No way am I giving Knights of the Round to Yuffie nor am I going on a date with you!" Cloud stated.

"Oh so, you prefer Miss Flowers?" Tifa giggled.

Cloud sighed, "Okay, fine. You got me there…but I'm not going to lose."

"Shut up, guy!" Tifa chuckled.

"You shut up." Cloud laughed.

"Shut up."

"Shut up."

"You shut up!"

"Why don't you shut up first?"

"WOULD ALL RACERS PLEASE BOARD THEIR CHOCOBO. THE RACE WILL BEGIN IN 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"

During the race…

"Shut up!"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up first!"

"No, you shut up."

After the race…

"ALRIGHT CHOCOBO FANS, THE RACE IS OVER! AND THE WINNER IS…RACER 5, TIFA LOCKHEART AND HER GOLD CHOCOBO, SUNSHINE!"

"Whoa!!!" Tifa grinned, jumping up and down. Cloud sniffed.

"THANK YOU, EVERYONE FOR COMING. THIS HAS BEEN IMA KOW-"

"Hahahahahahahahaha!!"

"ALRIGHT, WHO SAID THAT!?!"

"I can't believe I lost…" Cloud muttered.

"Believe it, 'cause it's true!" Yuffie hollered, running down. She was holding a red summon materia.

"Knights of the Round?" Cloud gawked. 

"Well, I knew you were gonna lose, so I took it a head of time." Yuffie smirked.

"Come on, I know the perfect restaurant!" Tifa grinned at Cloud. "But that's only if you have…a spare 1 million gil on hold."

Cloud sniffed, "Someone…please help…"

THE END

Author's Note: Finished the fic in a day. Wow! Tell me if it's any good. Review, please?


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